Ask Him Where The Other Part Of His Thumb Is.

You have nothing to complain about sitting in a middle seat on a Southwest flight to Denver when the guy next to you is going to Denver to get his thumb sewn back on. That is a tenant of air travel. You cannot complain when you ask him where the other part of his thumb is and he says none of your business and then he tells the flight attendant his thumb is in Denver. You cannot complain that that doesn't make sense. You cannot complain when he keeps adjusting his wig and bumps you in the head with his elbow. And you especially cannot complain when it smells like he took a dump in his pants. Not a fart, but the smell of actual fecal material, because you would shit your pants too if you had to wait an hour and fifty two minutes to get your thumb sewn back on.

You Look Good In Those Lady Clothes

How many times do you think Rupal Parekh from Ad Age has been called RuPaul? I asked her, 12,345 times. She started keeping track in her high school diary. It's not an exact count because when it started people would yell "Hey RuPaul, you look good in those lady clothes!" and Rupal would smile and compliment herself on her nice sense of style. Then her friends explained that they weren't saying "Rupal" they were calling her the name of the cross dressing male celebity. This bumbed her out a bit because she could have been wearing any kind of lady clothes, even if they were really ugly, and the kids would have said the same thing. 

The bulk of the “jokes” came in the late nineties when RuPaul was at the height of his fame. It’s tapered off a bit since, but every once in a while, usually at one of the Ad Age conferences she runs, some associate creative director thinking he’s funny (it’s always a guy too, women acd’s don’t go for this old, obvious joke for some reason), he’ll  say, “Hey RuPaul, you look good in those lady clothes.” Actually, Rupal does look good in lady clothes. It's when she goes with the Carhart painter pants and the NY Jets jersey that I have problems with. But thankfully she doesn’t do that very much.

That's Right, We Won Dish Network!

That's Barney, Eric, and little me with Joe the CEO and our buddy Ira.


http://www.adweek.com/news/advertising-branding/dish-network-selects-barton-f-graf-9000-133707

Don’t Ask The Shirtless Guys At The Front Door About Their Ab Workout.

It is hard to explain the incredibly uncomfortable feeling a 45 year old man gets when he walks into Abercrombie and Fitch to buy a t-shirt. The looks you get are mean, nasty, and reek of Ageism! You feel like a creep when all you want is a 100% cotton t-shirt that doesn’t shrink.

If you do find yourself in this situation here are some tips. Just go in, and go right to the t-shirt department. If you’re going to the one on Broadway and Houston, the t-shirts are on the second floor to the right. Trust me on this, I’ve been there hundreds of times. Don’t stop and hang out in the women’s section where they sell the sweatpants with the A&F on the ass, just walk through a few times like you’re looking for the cashier. Wear sunglasses. Yes you’ll look even creepier, but they hide the crow’s feet around your eyes and no one will see what you’re staring at. Finally, don’t ask the shirtless guys at the front door about their ab workout. Yes, this is a perfectly reasonable question, but it can be taken the wrong way.

A Case Of Logrolling.

I've been asked to review a new marketing book. But I have a bit of a dilemma. In the interest of full disclosure, I have to reveal that I am Facebook friends with the author. I've never met him or talked to him on the phone, but I sent a friend request and he responded in the affirmative. I think he is Australian, but that is just based on his name, haircut, and preference for tight black t-shirts. I could look up his info on Facebook or his blog, but I haven’t yet. I guess that is a way to rate social media friends, have you read their info? We don't hang out at the Norwood club and trade Marshall McLuhan references, but I have trolled through his photos a few times. He hangs out with very attractive men and women. One of his friends, Jane, looks like someone I would like to meet or follow. Whatever it would take to gain access to her photos. She's one of those snooty "Jane only shares her photos with friends" types. I'm still waiting on her response to my friendship request. In any case, this review may or may not be a case of logrolling.

அனைவருக்கும் வந்தனம், நான் நிர்வாணமாக நடனம் இருக்க போகிறேன்.

Our bookkeeper was here today and after all the checks were signed and all the bills were paid I asked her if we still had money in the bank and she said yes. So I'm going to Sri Lanka. அனைவருக்கும் வந்தனம், நான் நிர்வாணமாக நடனம் இருக்க போகிறேன்.

My Father Owned 3 Oil Fields

I feel part of the problem I've been having with the welcoming committee in Dumbo stems from the fact that I'm from Kansas. They have made all of these judgments about me based on that. I know what they're thinking, I worked on a farm or I raised corn or something. Well I'd just like those people to know that yes, I did grow up in Kansas, but my father owned like 3 oil fields there. We were very well off and went to all the best schools.