Report From Room 409 Pt. 3

I was coming back to my room kind of late and there was a room service tray outside 407 and I spied an entire basket of bread - two whole grain rolls and a baguette, untouched. So I grabbed them, and just as I was leaving, the door opened and it's Mark Waites from Mother. And I don't know if you know this about Mark, but he talks just like Paul McCartney, I think Mark is from Liverpool too. So he was like, "Hold on there mate, what do you think you're doin' with me rollie rolls? You can't come plip ploppin over here on your tiddliewinks and go away all sneakie sneakie now."
I said sorry and put the rolls back and for some reason Mark pulled the cart back into his room.

Catching Up With Sir Martin Sorrell

Sir Martin Sorrell, head of WPP, was nice enough to sit down for a chat.





Gerry: Hello, Sir.
Sir Martin: You're screwed, you realize this?
G: Excuse me?
SM: With your little jokes and your little bits, I don't put up with that shit.
G: Just saying hi.
SM: Get on with it then.
G: With what?
SM: The money joke. "Give me some money." The crap you pulled with Wren.
G: You guys talk?
SM: Talk? We're all sharing a boat.
G: You and Wren?
SM: Me, Wren, Levy...who's the guy from MDC?
G: Miles Nadal?
SM: Yeah, that guy, he's there. David Jones from Havas.
G: You should call him Davey Jones.
SM: Why?
G: Cuz you're on a boat.
SM:: You and your stupid jokes. Shut the fuck up.
G: What's the name of the boat?
SM The Ha-Cha-Cha
G: Ok.
SM: Say it, Ha-Cha-Cha, like Jimmy Durante.
G: Ha-Cha-Cha.
SM: No. Ha-Cha-Cha
G: Ha-Cha-Cha

SM: We got a Browning .50 caliber machine gun mounted on the back. We blast Halibut right out of the sea. These little Algerian guys jump in and collect all the dead fish for us. You should come out, it's fun.
G: Really?
SM: No. Get the fuck out of here.

SWEET!

I finally ran into David Droga and he was nice enough (he's always nice, btw) to pose for a quick pic and we got to catch up. I asked him about his cool yellow and blue shirt and he told me that it was one of a pair, Ted Royer has the other one, but Ted couldn't make Cannes this year, too busy back in NY. Ted's shirt was also yellow and blue but had the letters "ET!" on it so when David and Ted stood together it would read "SWEET!". And Ted and David are SWEET! so it would have worked. I don't think it was supposed to mean that they were nice and kind, not that type of sweet  (though they are). I think what it was supposed to mean was like when you see something cool like an old Ford Mustang and you yell "SWEET!", I think that was the type of sweet they were going for. And it would have worked, you know, seeing David and Ted together would have been "SWEET!", but like I said, Ted couldn't make it, but David kept up his part of the bargain and wore his shirt.

Report From Room 409 Pt. 2

4:22 am
Hotel Martinez, Cannes

BANG, BANG on my hotel door.
I don't answer.
BANG, BANG
Someone whispers, "I know you're in there Gerry."
BANG, BANG
"I know you can heeeeaaarrr me."
BANG, BANG
"I'm not leaving."
BANG, BANG

I hide under my covers and the banging and whispering goes on for a while. I can't make out the voice but I know it's one of two people: Tom Carroll or Rich Silverstein. Probably Silverstein.