Duck Hunting Or Wading Through Flood Waters

I'm just going on record as saying Duck Boots, when worn at times when you are supposed to wear them, like duck hunting or wading through flood waters, well, at those times, Duck Boots rock. They blow away those fancy shmancy Nike All-Terrain tech things. Now, when you wear them walking to the metro north train station on a rainy day, well,in that case, they suck. Or you suck. One or the other.

Barton F. Graf Gave Me Some Money

Barton F. Graf gave me some spending money when I went to college. All my friends were buying stuff for their dorm rooms so I went out and bought a couch and a rug. Unfortunately, I spent all my spending money for the semester. So I called Barton F. Graf up and asked him for some more money. He asked me what I did with the money he gave me and I said I bought a couch and a rug. He thought about it and said I’m not sending you any more money. I asked him what I was going to do for fun. He told me to sit on my couch and look at my rug.

An Inuit In Alaska Or George Lucas

In Joseph Campbell’s seminal work “The Hero With A Thousand Faces”, he outlines the Hero’s Journey. His premise is that our collective unconscious produces the same journey, the same story, whether you are an Inuit in Alaska or George Lucas. An important step in the journey is destruction of the self. In Greek mythology, this was accomplished by the actual burning of the hero’s physical body, releasing the spirit from the ashes. This phase can also be accomplished by the destruction of the ego. The hero must humble himself before the gods. Only after complete humiliation and ego destruction can the hero continue on to self fulfillment.

I farted in the Kayak meeting.  

Don't Mess With The Barton F. Graf 9000 Shark.

In honor of Shark Week, Eric and Molly sent us this:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBkly92mpRE


Don't mess with the Barton F. Graf 9000 Shark.

Ask Him Where The Other Part Of His Thumb Is.

You have nothing to complain about sitting in a middle seat on a Southwest flight to Denver when the guy next to you is going to Denver to get his thumb sewn back on. That is a tenant of air travel. You cannot complain when you ask him where the other part of his thumb is and he says none of your business and then he tells the flight attendant his thumb is in Denver. You cannot complain that that doesn't make sense. You cannot complain when he keeps adjusting his wig and bumps you in the head with his elbow. And you especially cannot complain when it smells like he took a dump in his pants. Not a fart, but the smell of actual fecal material, because you would shit your pants too if you had to wait an hour and fifty two minutes to get your thumb sewn back on.